Got these in an email today from a great friend. If you've already read them - well, read them again 'cause if some of them don't make you laugh you are wound way too tight, ha!
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Cupcakes for Daddy's Birthday
The girls had a great time dressing up like chefs and baking cupcakes for Heath's birthday. If you notice a strange animal hanging out on the kitchen table - don't worry - it's not another loose animal in the house. K2 was "Student of the Week" so she had to entertain the class animal, Chester (a stuffed raccoon). Chester was lucky enough to help the girls make cupcakes for Daddy. Other than that, a pretty uneventful weekend. Just hanging out and moving clothes around from one girl's dresser to another (or the attic) and vice versa.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
We're Movin' On Up...To The Top...
...We finally got a piece of the pie!
Just kidding - we are the Calvert's, not the Jefferson's, but it was fun to hum along and remember the days of sitting in front of the TV after school eating a bowl of dry cereal (Cocoa Puffs, of course).
Seriously, the Calvert's have "moved on up" this week. It started Saturday when K3 turned 7 months old. She literally hit the ground running..actually, crawling!
Then, on Monday, K2 started her first day of K4 (no, not another Calvert child - but 4 year old Kindergarten). She was so excited and it was great to see her grow up and move into the "big girl" room. She was so stinking cute in her new skinny jeans.
And, on Monday, K3 moved out of the infant room and into the next room where she could roam like a Queen - they actually said she might need a helmet, ha!
Then, on Wednesday, K1 started 2nd grade. Do you remember 2nd grade?
Here's what I looked like in 2nd grade (1982)
- it really doesn't seem that long ago. I had Ms. Gordon, absolutely without a doubt the meanest teacher I ever encountered. That's also the year I began to understand that boys were weird and dumb things made them laugh.
So, it's been a busy week around our neck of the woods and everyone seems to have adjusted exceptionally well to their new rooms - we thank God for that, and the teachers that will help our girls grow and learn this upcoming year!
Just kidding - we are the Calvert's, not the Jefferson's, but it was fun to hum along and remember the days of sitting in front of the TV after school eating a bowl of dry cereal (Cocoa Puffs, of course).
Seriously, the Calvert's have "moved on up" this week. It started Saturday when K3 turned 7 months old. She literally hit the ground running..actually, crawling!
Then, on Monday, K2 started her first day of K4 (no, not another Calvert child - but 4 year old Kindergarten). She was so excited and it was great to see her grow up and move into the "big girl" room. She was so stinking cute in her new skinny jeans.
And, on Monday, K3 moved out of the infant room and into the next room where she could roam like a Queen - they actually said she might need a helmet, ha!
Then, on Wednesday, K1 started 2nd grade. Do you remember 2nd grade?
Here's what I looked like in 2nd grade (1982)
- it really doesn't seem that long ago. I had Ms. Gordon, absolutely without a doubt the meanest teacher I ever encountered. That's also the year I began to understand that boys were weird and dumb things made them laugh.
So, it's been a busy week around our neck of the woods and everyone seems to have adjusted exceptionally well to their new rooms - we thank God for that, and the teachers that will help our girls grow and learn this upcoming year!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I Have a Problem...Surprised?
Truth is - I have many problems but I selectively suppress most of them; however, the last couple of weeks I have really struggled at trying to keep the "I expect nothing less than perfection" side of me at bay. I mean, I've really tried, but I have failed miserably at keeping my big mouth closed. It just so happens the last couple of weeks have presented with a culmination of one thing after another that has been done incorrectly - without fail, and without excuse!
I always get a little frustrated right before school starts - something about the Supply List sends me over the edge - seriously, I rage about it before I even open it. I will NEVER understand why my child has to bring paper towels, Clorox wipes and Kleenex' to her public school. I'll NEVER understand why an elementary school student has to have a "transparent" backpack - and therein, lies the key to my frustration - Transparency - what a concept!
You have a problem - address the problem. You have a student(s) who can't afford crayons or pencils - ask if parents would be interested in helping for the less fortunate. You have a new teacher without many resources, ask if parents or other teachers have items of interest for that teacher. Tell me that each teacher gets $525 to use at their disposal and in certain circumstances that may not be enough - tell me your goals for the year as a school, as a teacher, as a classroom and the obstacles you see in accomplishing those. Tell me your financial situation and your shortfalls and how those affect my child. Ya see, I will ALWAYS support my children's education and my family with ALWAYS (as long as we are able) help those, in ways we choose, who are less fortunate than us. I will not blindly give a school $6.00 for a "Communication Donation" without some explanation of what that is - I received 3 mailed letters last year at .42 each. Email is free - and, for the most part, so are phone calls. And, websites, what a concept - our school has failed to upload ANYTHING to their site. So, don't ask me for a "Communication Donation"!
The good news, I've rediscovered what ignites me - it's the absolute lack of transparency, competency and efficiency on behalf of human beings. I'm not even talking about Barack Obama - there's not enough battery power on this MacBook for me to write how I feel about that. I'm talking about people that I encounter in my routine "day in the life of an American mom in her mid-30's with three young kids" life.
It is WRONG that little league sports have turned into the National Football League. It is unnecessary that pom-pom's cost $38 and have to be purchased every other year. It is more WRONG that I am told what charities I have to support (in the form of "you are expected to buy xx tickets for xx dollars to xx event") Hello? Are you serious? You are telling me that I have to spend $50 to support an organization of which I do not participate - I don't think so.
And for those of you (my two readers) that live in Jefferson County - our incompetent Commissioners have completely duped us all and as a result of their incompetence and lack of transparency we are all forced into the giant black hole with no choice in the matter. As a licensed professional who practices my profession in the County of Jefferson, Alabama I have been exempt from the Occupational Tax - not because there was favoritism when it was initiated but because EVERYONE who must buy a professional license in the county is exempt. Despite the fact that the 3-ring circus known as the media wants you to believe that only doctors and lawyers are exempt - that is a flat out deliberate attempt to mislead the public. It is false and represents their failure to communicate effectively. Guess what? Your hair dresser is "exempt", too. And for those of you who may be lucky enough to get a massage every once in while - well, the beloved goddess who massages your body and takes away all your worries for 27 minutes is/was "exempt", too. "Exempt" - is not the appropriate way to characterize it. I prefer to explain that while I do not/have not paid the occupational tax I am required to purchase an annual license to practice my profession - a license which is revenue to the bottom line of the government, just like the occupational tax. And, don't worry, the special session of the Alabama Legislature has no bill before them this week to remove, abolish or reduce the requirement that I buy an annual license. They just choose to stick me with, you guessed it, an additional tax. More money that I can funnel to incompetent officials elected by incompetent residents so that welfare recipients can have their 14th child for free at Cooper Green Hospital. (sorry, but the truth hurts)
Okay, breathe, Tracy, breathe!
Back to my everyday life, the carpool line at the public elementary school wherein K1 embarked on her first day of 2nd grade today was horrendous - terrible, absolutely incredible. I understand, and appreciate, the extra time spent to ensure that every child got on the right bus, was accounted for, etc. I will NEVER understand why a Jefferson County Sheriff was there this morning standing around looking at leaves on trees and was not there this afternoon when traffic was backed up for miles. I will NEVER understand why some parents saw no fault in completely blocking traffic. It was the epitome of confusion due to lack of planning - all the way around. So, as I am steaming, literally screaming from within my car (I kept the windows up) I look up at the flag pole and realize that two of the three flags flying at the school are torn and tattered beyond reproach. Now, folks, that is a sad day. And, don't even give me the, "well, if you would have paid the donation they requested they might could buy a new flag". They had new mulch, they had fresh flowers, they have a HUGE nice sign telling ME to turn off my cell phone, notifying ME of the earliest time I can drop off my child, telling ME when my child is tardy and instructing ME where not to enter the carpool line.
I'm feeling a little better but don't be surprised if you see me on the news after one of those Town Hall meetings expressing my complete discontent with the direction of this country. It's not hard, really, all you need is:
1 a relationship with God
2 morals
3 a general understanding of basic economic principles
3 the ability to communicate
4 recognition of people's efforts
5 respect for the dollar (and the person who earned it)
6 a desire to do more with less; and
7 an open book (transparency)
Good grief, I'm going to bed!
I always get a little frustrated right before school starts - something about the Supply List sends me over the edge - seriously, I rage about it before I even open it. I will NEVER understand why my child has to bring paper towels, Clorox wipes and Kleenex' to her public school. I'll NEVER understand why an elementary school student has to have a "transparent" backpack - and therein, lies the key to my frustration - Transparency - what a concept!
You have a problem - address the problem. You have a student(s) who can't afford crayons or pencils - ask if parents would be interested in helping for the less fortunate. You have a new teacher without many resources, ask if parents or other teachers have items of interest for that teacher. Tell me that each teacher gets $525 to use at their disposal and in certain circumstances that may not be enough - tell me your goals for the year as a school, as a teacher, as a classroom and the obstacles you see in accomplishing those. Tell me your financial situation and your shortfalls and how those affect my child. Ya see, I will ALWAYS support my children's education and my family with ALWAYS (as long as we are able) help those, in ways we choose, who are less fortunate than us. I will not blindly give a school $6.00 for a "Communication Donation" without some explanation of what that is - I received 3 mailed letters last year at .42 each. Email is free - and, for the most part, so are phone calls. And, websites, what a concept - our school has failed to upload ANYTHING to their site. So, don't ask me for a "Communication Donation"!
The good news, I've rediscovered what ignites me - it's the absolute lack of transparency, competency and efficiency on behalf of human beings. I'm not even talking about Barack Obama - there's not enough battery power on this MacBook for me to write how I feel about that. I'm talking about people that I encounter in my routine "day in the life of an American mom in her mid-30's with three young kids" life.
It is WRONG that little league sports have turned into the National Football League. It is unnecessary that pom-pom's cost $38 and have to be purchased every other year. It is more WRONG that I am told what charities I have to support (in the form of "you are expected to buy xx tickets for xx dollars to xx event") Hello? Are you serious? You are telling me that I have to spend $50 to support an organization of which I do not participate - I don't think so.
And for those of you (my two readers) that live in Jefferson County - our incompetent Commissioners have completely duped us all and as a result of their incompetence and lack of transparency we are all forced into the giant black hole with no choice in the matter. As a licensed professional who practices my profession in the County of Jefferson, Alabama I have been exempt from the Occupational Tax - not because there was favoritism when it was initiated but because EVERYONE who must buy a professional license in the county is exempt. Despite the fact that the 3-ring circus known as the media wants you to believe that only doctors and lawyers are exempt - that is a flat out deliberate attempt to mislead the public. It is false and represents their failure to communicate effectively. Guess what? Your hair dresser is "exempt", too. And for those of you who may be lucky enough to get a massage every once in while - well, the beloved goddess who massages your body and takes away all your worries for 27 minutes is/was "exempt", too. "Exempt" - is not the appropriate way to characterize it. I prefer to explain that while I do not/have not paid the occupational tax I am required to purchase an annual license to practice my profession - a license which is revenue to the bottom line of the government, just like the occupational tax. And, don't worry, the special session of the Alabama Legislature has no bill before them this week to remove, abolish or reduce the requirement that I buy an annual license. They just choose to stick me with, you guessed it, an additional tax. More money that I can funnel to incompetent officials elected by incompetent residents so that welfare recipients can have their 14th child for free at Cooper Green Hospital. (sorry, but the truth hurts)
Okay, breathe, Tracy, breathe!
Back to my everyday life, the carpool line at the public elementary school wherein K1 embarked on her first day of 2nd grade today was horrendous - terrible, absolutely incredible. I understand, and appreciate, the extra time spent to ensure that every child got on the right bus, was accounted for, etc. I will NEVER understand why a Jefferson County Sheriff was there this morning standing around looking at leaves on trees and was not there this afternoon when traffic was backed up for miles. I will NEVER understand why some parents saw no fault in completely blocking traffic. It was the epitome of confusion due to lack of planning - all the way around. So, as I am steaming, literally screaming from within my car (I kept the windows up) I look up at the flag pole and realize that two of the three flags flying at the school are torn and tattered beyond reproach. Now, folks, that is a sad day. And, don't even give me the, "well, if you would have paid the donation they requested they might could buy a new flag". They had new mulch, they had fresh flowers, they have a HUGE nice sign telling ME to turn off my cell phone, notifying ME of the earliest time I can drop off my child, telling ME when my child is tardy and instructing ME where not to enter the carpool line.
I'm feeling a little better but don't be surprised if you see me on the news after one of those Town Hall meetings expressing my complete discontent with the direction of this country. It's not hard, really, all you need is:
1 a relationship with God
2 morals
3 a general understanding of basic economic principles
3 the ability to communicate
4 recognition of people's efforts
5 respect for the dollar (and the person who earned it)
6 a desire to do more with less; and
7 an open book (transparency)
Good grief, I'm going to bed!
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Happy Birthday, Daddy!
Tomorrow, August 10th, is my Daddy's birthday. So, in honor of his day I thought I'd share a few pictures and send happy wishes his way for a great day and wonderful year!!
(Mom and Dad - many years ago!)
(My wedding, 2000)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
A Walk Down Memory Lane...
So, I'm in my office today preparing for a 4:00p meeting with some auditors. The two guests from our auditing firm walk in and sit down as I finish up an email. As I turn my attention to the auditors, one says to the other, "you have to address the newspaper article first." I noticed that the auditor from my hometown was holding a yellowish newspaper - he handed it to me and said "My wife was going through some old stuff and found this article about you". Unbelievable - what a small world! He and his wife both graduated from my high school. The newspaper article is from 1992 (17 years ago) and boy did it bring back memories.
So, for tonight's entry - you get a little walk down memory lane back to Tracy's senior year - 1992. I have fond memories of that year and am proud to say that I accomplished exactly what I set out to do in that yearbook - attend Birmingham Southern College and major in political science. (although I'm scorned for life over graduating #3 out of 302 students - no speech for me at the graduation ceremonies!)
My Senior Picture: (what about that hair?)
Most Likely To Succeed (remember, I went to Hueytown, ha!):
And, the Student Council whose participation was minimal - the meetings were at 7am:
So, what were you doing in 1992?
CRAZY THOUGHT: My youngest daughter will graduate from high school in the year 2027 - wow!!
Monday, August 03, 2009
Seven Oaks
We had a great time this weekend despite a trip to the pediatrician on Friday!!
My sister and her family have a cabin in the woods in Kemper County, Mississippi and they were so gracious to invite us over - my dad and his wife joined us and it was a great summer weekend with good food, good family and good times!
Some highlights included:
K1 riding her bike (without training wheels);
K2 catching 7 fish;
K1 being 'kissed' by a fish;
Riding go-carts and 4-wheelers;
The new waterslide; and, of course, no weekend in the country would be complete without -
Roasting marshmellows and eating smores - yum!
K3!!
My sister and her family have a cabin in the woods in Kemper County, Mississippi and they were so gracious to invite us over - my dad and his wife joined us and it was a great summer weekend with good food, good family and good times!
Some highlights included:
K1 riding her bike (without training wheels);
K2 catching 7 fish;
K1 being 'kissed' by a fish;
Riding go-carts and 4-wheelers;
The new waterslide; and, of course, no weekend in the country would be complete without -
Roasting marshmellows and eating smores - yum!
K3!!
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